Day Six of Route to Management... Mmmm, chocolate

I took a while to get to sleep last night, there were a few neighbours up being a little rowdy. To be fair it's the first time I've heard them in two years and it is Christmas, but I hate being in bed awake when I should be catching up on my beauty sleep.

First thing this morning, although not as early as I'd have liked, I straddled the bike and headed off for the usual laps or Richmond Park. Unfortunately I didn't have enough time (bloody work) to do the usual three laps, so instead of a 30+ mile cycle it was more like 17 miles.

I actually felt a bit lethargic going out. I was surprised at this since I've been eating a bit more protein recently and have be getting my greens. Mind you, it was chilly and freezing fog hardly makes you more motivated to do the miles. Once I actually got to the park I cycled quite well. I am definitely noticing improvements week on week at the moment.

When I got home I dialed into another conference call. After that I had a quick shower and went shopping with the missus. I bought some cleaner and degreaser for the bike as well as some brushes. Even though it wasn't raining the bike got filthy today and stared making grinding noises. It's far to expensive to wear away due to bad maintenance so it was time I got the stuff to clean it with.

We then parted company so I could go an find her a Xmas present. Well, find the ingredients for a present. I bought her favourite treat foods - good chocolate, marzipan and dried apricots. I also got a bottle of Amaretto. When I got home I soaked the apricots in the booze and after a few hours melted the chocolate. I then rolled out the marzipan and wrapped it individually around the apricots before carefully dipping them in the chocolate and laying out to cool.

This was hard work. The smell of the marzipan and the chocolate were quite tempting, but I did resist. The result looks great. I have a hell of a lot of chocolates made and the mother in law will be delighted as she shares her daughter's rather eccentric tastes. The pair of them have been known to eat a jar of pickles between them watching telly and then open a packet of beetroot for desert.

I'm off to the mother in law's for Christmas tomorrow and I don't know if I'll get a chance to update the blog. If I don't Merry Xmas all.

Day Five of Route to Management... Christmas shopping

I awoke early enough to be at Brent Cross Shopping Centre at 0900 just as it was opening. I rushed in to buy the specific things the missus had hinted at for Chrstmas.

She wanted a massaging cushion and a jewelery box similar to this. I picked up the massager, bt the correct size and colour of box was not available so I knew I'd have to go into John Lewis on Oxford Street. Bugger. I also wanted to go to Lakeland as I saw a huge marzipn selection box that I knew she'd love as she has a severe marzipan addiction that resurfaces avery Christmas. I saw the exact same thing, but half the size for £30 in John Lewis but knew a larger one was available for £18.00 in Lakeland so didn't buy it. Unfortunately lakeland are now sold out and I don't want to pay the rip off prices, so I'll have to think of something else.

I returned home where I have to joind a work conference call to discuss our plans for the festive period as were are starting to heavily advertise our newest product on TV.

I then decided to brave central London and got the tube to Bond Street. I ran into John Lewis and they didn't have the large jewelery box. They only had medium and extra large. I went for the extra large. At the counter the guy only charged me half price as it was on sale, even though it wasn't advertised. I managed to save myself £65, just as well the other shop was sold out.

For tonight's meal I had two courses. We had smoked salmon on spinach with a little lemon. For my main I had Dover sole on a salad remarkably like yesterday. It was just like real posh food!

Day Four of Route to Management... Return of the packed lunch

On day three I roasted a chicken (organic free range of course) and had a breast with a few leaves. I am allowed 100 grams of chicken, which is pretty much a whole cooked breast. I'm enjoying eating real good.

The next day I cut up the remaining breast and put it in a sealable box with a salad made from shredded cabbage, spinach leaves and a dressing from balsamic vinegar and soy sauce. It sounds odd, but tasted great. I ate it at work and my colleagues looked on with some hilarity. For a number of them it was the first time they'd ever seen me eat.

This gave me a great sense of normality and was another step in the right direction.

When I got home I was greeted by the missus and my mother who'd been out shopping all day. They'd conspired to buy me a couple of food treats that they knew I was allowed. They bought a packet of Smoked Wild Scottish Salmon from Fortnum and Mason as well as some Dover Sole. The food for the next few days should be great.

The missus thinks we should spend a lot more time, effort and cash exploring new foods. This should stop us buying unhealthy crap as well as focus on smaller portions of excellence - rather than large takeaways. As a foodie, it sounds like a good idea and if it means I get to eat quality food like I'll have int he coming days, I'm all for it.

Day Two of Route to Management...

My mother arrived at Euston Station last night, so I drove in to pick her up. She was, as you can imagine, amazed to see the difference in me. She spent the whole journey back oohing and ahhing at me.

Back at my place I went in to auto-pilot and had a shake. Then I remembered I was supposed to be having a real meal. I waited for an hour of so and grilled the rest of the salmon. I was nice and tasty and I enjoyed it.

After I finished I took my mother for some late night shopping to Brent Cross Shopping Centre. She wanted to get my brother a bottle of aftershave and have a look around John Lewis. I actually found a bottle of aftershave I really liked. My mother offered to buy it for me, but it seemed weird for me to ask for it, so I got it myself.

We had a wander around some jewelers and I saw the most amazing watch, but I didn't have the guts to impulse buy a £2.5k watch in front of my mother. My mother comes from a poor background and has spent almost all her life on the breadline. Me chucking cash around in front of her always feels very strange.

When we got back in the car we decided to go for a spin around London in the car to see the Christmas lights. We went past Parliament, Westminster, Trafalgar Sq, Strand, Fleet Street, St Paul's, Tower Bridge, Tower of London, Oxford Street and Regent Street. The lights were great and it was good to spend time with my mother.

When we got back to the house my mum presented the missus and I with a present each. The missus got a lovely gold and necklace set with a couple of garnets in the same style as a ring she has.

I was given a set of cuff links. However, these were no ordinary cuff links. My mother commissioned a pair of 18ct gold links with a Hare on one side and a fish on the other. The significance of these is based in Scottish mythology. My mother is a storyteller and explained that the hare was the traditional for of a shape shifter, and since that's exactly what I am this year she thought it was apt. The fish on the other side should be obvious to anyone who knows my angling obsession. The thing that is amazing about them is the huge weight. Gold is heavy!

Day Two Hundred and Twenty Three... Route to Management starts tomorrow!

Today is the last day I will only be eating packs. Tomorrow I start to eat real food. This will be the first bit of none lighterlife food I will hve eating since the 8th of May and I'm not sure whether I'm looking forward to it or not. This part of Lighterlife is called Route to Management. It lasts 12 weeks and phases out the packs and introduces different food groups week by week.

The abstinence phase of Lighterlife is simple. You eat four foodpacks of you choice and four litres of water a day and nothing else. This is dead easy to follow and it becomes like a crutch. There is no thinking about what you are to eat for your next meal, you just eat a pack. Now however the temptation to cheat will appear. The old habbits can slip back. This is the hardest part of the whole journey. The internet is full of blogs that either end at this point or are full of tails of woe.

I am determined to get this right.

I read a statistic which showed that nearly 98% of people that lose 100lbs or more put all the weight back on within three years. 70% do it in one year. I do not want to become one of the 98%. I need to be in the 2%.

I guess the reason so many fail is that they think the diet is over. It is never over. I need to keep setting goals to stretch myself. So far I've managed to reach all the goals I set myself. As soon as I get near to completing one goal I set the next.

Surprisingly I am not particularly looking forward to tomorrow's food. Partly because of the risk that eating will bring, but I hope also that I have started to really get over any food addiction I had.

I am starting my Management programme a day early. This will mean that I will start week two on Christmas Day and week three on New Years day. This will give me a bit more choice at Xmas as well as allow me some steak on the 1st. Steak Pie is a traditional mean for us at New Year, and although I will not be having that, a nice sirloin will be a great comprimise.

Day Two Hundred and Twenty One...

It's Saturday, and that means it's time for my time trial on the bike around Richmond Park. I've not been out for a few weeks due to being on holiday, weekends away or visiting my father so I was really looking forward to getting back ont he bike.

Today's forecast was dry with light winds and a morning low temperature of -2C. I've really suffered in the cold recently with my feet feeling like ice blocks when I get home. To sort this I wore two pairs of socks and a pair of overshoes which are like socks over your shoes.

These seemed to do the job and I remained pretty warm for the entire journey. My face got a bit chilly as did my hands through the gloves, but nothing really uncomfortable.

My time was great today, I pushed a bit harder than normal and didn't change down to my lowest gears on the climbs, instead I got off the seat and powered my way to the top. It felt great not to need the 'granny gear'.

I'm not sure what has helped my cycling the most since the last trip. It couls be the fact I've been training or the fact that I'm a stone lighter than last time.

Day Two Hundred and Seventeen... weigh in.

This week's weigh in coincided with my work Christmas party. I didn't want to miss the party so I called my counsellor to ask if I could come later in the week. She suggested I should miss two weeks in a row and said she could weigh me in and give me food if I arrived early.

I'd already changed into my party gear, but decided to go to the party via my counsellor. Ever since my first weigh in I've always worn the same trainers and joggers with any old t-shirt and I do not beleive she thinks I could ever look smart. So you can imagine my counsellor got a bit of a shock when I arrived in my new suit, a fancy shirt and smart shoes.

My weigh in showed a loss of seven pounds over the last two weeks which brings me down to 13 stones and 7 pounds. I have now lost just one pound short of eleven stones. To be honest, if I was weighing in with my normal clothes I would have made it through that 11 stones mark, but I'm more than happy to wait until next week.

I also told my counsellor that this will be my last week of abstinence. Next tuesday I'll be getting my Route to Management book and will actually start to eat real food on Wednesday.

This will mean I can have some turkey and salad on Christmas day. That will mean lots to me. I despiritely wanted not to start the New Year on abstinence and I've scrapped through by th skin of my teeth.

Woolacombe

For a while I've had a weekend in Devon planned. It is a good friend's 30th birthday and we were returning to the place of his stag weekend for another celebration - although this time the ladies were allowed.

We drove there on Friday and were the first to arrive other than our hosts. They've just bought a holiday flat with great sea views and it was our first visit. When we got there the look on their faces as I emerged from the car was hilarious. I had not told them I'd lost weight. My mate's missus declared she'd have walked right past me in the street and would never have recognised me.

This set the tome for the weekend and as every guest arrived they were all completely amazed at my transformation. I took great encouragement from this and will build on this when I start Route to Management.

Unfortunately Devon was stormbound all weekend, so we didn't get to do any of the planned surfing and kayaking, but it was still great to be away from London and relaxing.

I managed to stay off the food and drink all weekend. However, I was sorely tempted by the birthday cake which looked amazing. I did resist, but thought about it all night and most of the rest of the weekend. I htough I'd got over that, but recently I've started to think more about food again. I did that a lot when I started Lighterlife and maybe it's coming back because I know soon I'll be starting to eat again.

Day Two Hundred and Ten... weigh in.

Well, it was supposed to be a weigh in. Unfortunately I had to out this weekend up to Glasgow as my father was hospitalised. He's been having problems keeping food down and needed to go in to get sustenance and to find out what the problem is. I stayed up from Sunday to Thursday so got the missus to go and pick me up some food from the Lighterlife counsellor.

I got a nice hotel right next to the hospital and was able to spend a lot of time with my dad. We chatted for hours and played a lot of cards. It was actually very enjoyable to spend the time with him.

I drove back to London on the Thursday and went straight to bed as I had a long weekend ahead...

Madrid

We got up well before dawn for our early morning flight to Madrid. We arrived early at our hotel after an uneventful flight and headed out to explore the city.

Madrid really is a stunning looking place. We wandered randomly up and down though parks a palaces just lapping the place up. However, although it was always bright and sunny it was also freezing and I was delighted to have my big jacket with me.

On the second day we wandered some more and went round Real Madrid's stadium which was enormous. It was full of other Aberdeen fans who were enjoying the beer served on the tour and we all ended up singing in the almost empty stadium. In the evening we made it to Athletico's ground and was having a great time singing with our own fans as well as drinking (water for me) with the Athletico fans.

Things were going great until a large group of Spanish fans threw flares into the crowded area setting motor bikes on fire an causing mayhem. I was able to get into the stadium and watch the episode unfold from high up. It was pretty scary as the Spanish riot police seemed to pick out random fans and beat the hell out of them with sticks. It was disgusting to watch. I was really disappointed. Scottish fans have such a good reputation and there is no need to be heavy handed with us, the worst thing we do is piss in fountains... The game was a non-event. We lost 2-0 thanks to a late first half penalty and a free kick. Other than that we held our own.

I'll probably go back to Madrid when I'm eating and drinking. It looks like a nice place to take the missus. I may go again towards the end of next summer when it's not super hot and before the cold winter sets in.

Day Two Hundred and Three... weigh in.

I was pretty disappointed to only lose three pounds in the last week. I wanted to officially break through the 14 stones barrier. Unfortunately it wasn't to be and my weigh in moved me to 14 stones exactly.

After my weigh in I went home and packed my holiday bag. First thing in the morning I'm off to Madrid to watch Aberdeen play Athletico Madrid. My mate arrived from Aberdeen but was honest enough to say thet he didn't notice any difference from a month ago, even though I've probably lost a stone and a trouser size since then.

Day Two Hundred and One...

My morning weigh in was 13st 12lbs today. For the first time my weigh starts with a 13. My target weight originally was 14 stones until I realised that it still left me outside the healthy BMI range. Now that I have set myself a goal involving climbing hills on the bike I need to go a bit lower. However, with Christmas coming it could be hard to be completely abstinent. I have decided to go into management, i.e. start eating again around the middle of December. I should be 13 stones plus or minus a couple by then.

It is possible that my first meal could be some turkey on Christmas Day. Looking at myself now, although I have a gut, it's small and needs toned more than anything else. My face, chest, arms and legs do not need to get any thinner, just my bum and belly.

Using the BMI calculator on the Lighterlife website I now have a BMI of 25.14. All I have to do now is lose one more pound and I am healthy. I now have a BMI below the UK average of 25.4.

Of course, this is based on my morning weigh in, not my official clothed and fed Tuesday night weigh in.

Day Two Hundred...

I've made it to day 200. Some how these round numbers always seem to spur me on. It's been an interesting ride and there's a little more to go. I've just reread my post for my 100th day and was a surprised I didn't make more of it. I just wrote a couple of short paragraphs.

So, after two hundred days of starvation how do I feel?

Great.

I have achieved every goal I've set myself and am still on target. I am now motivated to move on to some serious challenges with my attempts at the Alpine climbs in the summer but am really looking forward to it. I've lost over 10 stones, dropped 10 inches from my gut and started to exercise seriously. It's been great.

I awoke early, as usual, got into my cycling gear and headed off to Richmond Park. I pushed it a bit harder on the way there and was a couple of minutes faster than last week, but I didn't feel any more tired. That made me confident that I could beat my previous time of 3x10km laps. Unfortunately a dreadful wind meant that even though I tried harder than my 1st effort my time was almost exactly the same. The wind also turned my feet into ice blocks.

After my laps I had a bit of a stretch and headed for home. I really pushed the pace up and was surprised at how much energy I still had left. I guess I have to try harder on the laps.

I went shopping with the missus in the afternoon. We bought Guitar Hero 3 and spent the rest of the night playing rock tunes. I went to bed pretty tired.

Day One Hundred and Ninety Six... weigh in

This week has been a pretty slow week in terms of losing pounds. I have been the same weight, every morning sine last Friday and so didn't expect much from this week's weigh in. Therefore, I was surprised and delighted to chalk another 4lbs off my total. My new official weigh in is now 14 stones and 3lbs. This means I have now lost over ten stones and also now weigh under 200lbs. I haven't been this light since secondary school.

I am still freezing cold. This change in the weather does not agree with me at all. Even at home with the heating on full I find myself shivering and needing to wear extrea clothes.

I visited the gym at work to have a chat about joining and seeing one of the intructors. Unfortunately they were all busy givinh classes as it as lunch time. I've arranged to go back another time. I am looking for a plan to help me get the fitness required to get me up some serious mountains on the bike.

Day One Hundred and Ninety Two...

I awoke in the morning quite tired and thought about dozing, but I'd laid out my cycling gear the previous night and was determined to get out for a training run.

I had a shake, dressed, filled my water bottle and started off for Richmond Park. The park is almost exactly 5 miles from my home so I am well warmed up when I arrive. I decided to cycle anti-clockwise this time and started my time trial. Each lap of is 10km and my training run is 3 times round. This gives a total of nearly 30 miles which is a decent session as I try to get fit.

My total for the three lap was 1hr 25mins and 17secs which is pretty poor for a decent cyclist, but I was happy just to finish to be honest. A few of the climbs are pretty hard when you've only had 125 calories for breakfast and you burned more than that before you even started the time trial. I'm looking forward to a time where I can actually have some spare energy in my system.

Before starting for home I had a little stretch and phoned the missus to ask here to run a bath. My feet were absolutely freezing and I could think of no better way to get some life back into them than a nice bath. The rest of my body was fine, the lycra tights and the new jacket seemed to keep the elements out.

When I got back the missus had run my bath and I dunked myself for about half an hour relaxing all my muscles. I was surprised that although I was tired I had no aches or pains.

After getting dressed we took the tube into town where we looked at clothes. I got a new suit. I ended up going for a Ted Baker which after trying many others was an instant favourite. It fits snugly and will give me room to shrink a little. My current shape required no additional tailoring, but they assistant said if I continue to shrink they'll take it in at no charge. That gave me the piece of mind to go for it.

When we got home I listened to Scotland lose to Italy on the radio and was a bit gutted so we went to bed early and watched a movie with the missus on the laptop before falling into a deep sleep.

Day One Hundred and Ninety...

I'm wasn't at work to do as I had to go to an appointment with the missus. Once we were done we caught the tube home stopping off at Sloane Square for a look round the. shops.

I fancied a new winter jacket. I had a great waterproof warm parka that I loved and needed to find a suitably large replacement. In the end I found a very snug North Face jacket that should see me through this cold snap and beyond.

A good friend yesterday told be he's planning on getting married next month. This is obviously all happening very fast. He's asked me to be his witness at the registry office, so I guess I'll need to get myself a suit. I had a look today and saw some lovely ones. There's a Ted Baker and a Reiss one that I'm very tempted with. I guess I'm going to have to leave it as long as I can so I am close to my finishing weight as possible. I don't want to spend a whole load of cash on a suit for it not to fit me a month later.

I am really cold tonight, but am feeling good that I am buying normal size clothes. My new jacket is a medium, although my suit size is still on the large side. I am a 42 chest and a 36 waist. I reckon a 40 chest and a 34 waist would be perfect for me. I'm hoping in four weeks I can get down to that size. I this this is an attainable goal. About three weeks ago I got some sale trousers in Next for £5. I bought them in size 36 and a pair of 34s too. At the time I couldn't fasten the 34s, but now they go on in relative comfort, so I should manage a 34 in 'posh' trousers.

Day One Hundred and Eighty Eight... weigh in

Just a quick update before bed.

I lost 3lbs this week. Unfortunately this left me 1lb short of my 10 stone target. However, my 139 pounds total is not too shabby.

We talked about where we want to be in future in the class tonight and all I could think about was the goal I've set myself in getting up L'Alpe d'Huez. The enormity of it scares me a bit. I hope it spurs me on rather than causes me to freeze.

I also asked my counsellor to order me in my management book as I reckon in a month or so I'll be ready to start that journey. My BMI is now 26 and is just above the magic 25.

For the first time I am now getting people telling em not to lose anymore weight. When I explain that I am still at least a stone and a half overweight nobody believes me. I am now 14 stones and 7 pounds. I can actually lose 4 stones and still havea healthy BMI. My goal is just to be healthy for the New Year.

Day One Hundred and Eighty Eight...

A spooky thing happened to me today.

I was in the lift on my way to a meeting in a building I used to work in. I saw one of my old colleagues in the lift and said Hi. I got a polite 'Hi' back, to which I replied 'how are you doing?' The guy looked completely confused.

I asked, "you don't recognise me, do you?" He didn't. When I explained who I was he was amazed.

I didn't think I'd changed that much.

Day One Hundred and Eighty Eight...

I ordered a whole stack of books the other day from Amazon in an attempt to get some motivation on my new goal of climbing some serious alpine hills on the bike.

They all arrived at work on Monday and I carried them home. I don't normally have a lot of time to read books so I wasn't really sure when I'd get a chance to bury myself in them.

They arrived packaged up in a nice box which was great for carrying them home. Except that I didn't have any gloves and my hands were freezing. This is really weird for me. I never get cold, but on Lighterlife, I've been freezing for a while. I need to get myself a big jacket and look out my snowboarding gloves.

I decided that the best way to warm up and guarantee I got to read was to run a bath and stay in there for as long as possible before going to bed. The plan worked. I managed to read the whole thing, finishing just before 12. I then drifted off to some great sleep.

I read Flying Scotsman by Graeme Obree. You may remember him as the guy who built his bike from an old washing machine and proceeded to become world champion and smash record after record.

It was a great read. It was great to just spend time with my head buried in a book. I do not do enough of that these days.

Day One Hundred and Eighty Six...

I was desperate to get out on the bike today, but since I had no decent clothes that fitted me I decided to go to decathlon and get some gear instead.

I got a nice jacket and a pair of lycra tights. Yup, lycra tights. I can't believe I am going to end up wearing tights. A couple of months ago I wouldn't dream of wearing them and now I'll happily go out in public with them on.

Someone asked me if I had a before and after picture. I haven't posted one of those on here yet, so it seems like a good time.

Here's me a month before starting Ligherlife weighing 24 stones and 6 pounds. This was a dress up for work day for comic relief.



And here I am today at around 14 stone and 10 pounds. I put on my new tights and jacket...




Tomorrow I am off to go indoor skydiving. Right back at the start of the programme I tried to find things to to that I couldn't do when fat. Skydiving is one. The missus decided to treat me to some lessons and tomorrow is the big day. I'm really looking forward to it.